Posted by: Erin | May 19, 2009

When Did I Become Gardener Non Grata??

For real, kids. What is wrong with me? It’s like I woke up this spring (or what passes for spring in New England), and I’ve lost all ability to do anything right, gardening-wise. (Though oddly enough, my indoor plants are doing just fine.) Nearly all of my plants have died, and my seeds have done nothing better than sprout. Observe:

Lavender seeds: Barely sprouted, and the ones that did were stunted with leaves about the size of the head of a pin.

Calendula seeds: Lots sprouted, but they got about an inch and a half tall or so, then most of them sorta flopped over, and not long after, shriveled up and died.

Mesclun seeds (attempt #1): Sprouted quickly, got to about 2 inches tall, and then apparently got bored and died.

Mesclun seeds (attempt #2): Sprouted quickly again, thought it might be better, and then I discover that all those damned little mini fruit-fly like things in my apartment seem to be crawling around in the potting soil. So are they diseased? Is the soil diseased? Did the stupid bugs just decide they liked it there?

Stock: Both pretty much dead, despite the repotting. Probably shouldn’t have bothered.

Dahlia: No idea what happened – one day it was happy, the next day the flowers drooped, then it was brown and dead.

Orange Symphony: Dead as a doornail. For no reason.

Dwarf sunflower: Was fine. The one flower started to die off, which is to be expected, but then the leaves suddenly drooped and the flower buds were useless. For No Reason.

Gerbera daisies: Both were happy, until the flowers were dying off. Pruned them and repotted them, but one is down to basically two half-grown new leaves and nothing else (think that’s the salmon one), and the other looks like it might survive, but who knows.  [Edit: these leaves are now droopy and yellowing, too, so this one is about 99.5% dead, too.)

Sweet peas: The seeds were crazy ambitious, and they’re still alive, but they got to about 14″ tall, and now they seem to simply be intent on tangling themselves up together.

English thyme: Well, we’ve all seen how that’s gone. I brought it home nice and happy, and less than a week later, it dropped dead. WTF?

Seriously. The only plant that doesn’t hate me and is doing okay is that damned daylily that I ignored and left for dead out on the porch and haven’t touched since. That is some messed up gardening karma, kids.

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